Super One Foods had an amazing sale last night, where a whole assortment of goodies were amazingly cheap. I got a dozen eggs for 98 cents. Call me old, but that's a steal. So, needless to say, Super One Foods was packed with people. I even went a bit late to avoid the mad rush of the 5:00 crowd, but I still had to park in the boon-doonies that was covered in black ice.
While I was shopping, I overheard this horrible screaming of a little boy. If there could be a live example of screaming bloody murder, he would be it - hands down. Now, there could have been several things that he was upset about...didn't get his superman fruit snacks or his captain crunch, but whatever it was, he was definitely pissed. A few minutes later, I glanced up to see the screaming parade walk past me in the frozen foods section. And then I realized. If I had parents like that, I'd be screaming too.
The dad looked like he came straight out of a dumpster from the 80's. I'm pretty sure his clothes hadn't been washed in at least a month. His hair was longer than mine, with a backwards Chicago Bulls hat on top. Unshaven and, I'm guessing, 5, maybe 6 teeth. Don't even get me started on the mom. She looked like someone who was stupid enough to sleep with....THAT.
Now, I'm not a judgmental person. I realize that appearances don't mean everything. But the way they tried to shut their kid up disgusted me. The poor kid probably just wanted some chocolate milk or something, and the dad kept grabbing his arm and shaking it around like THAT was the key to silence. When that didn't work, he tried to physically keep his jaw shut with his hands...it was then that I almost went into ninja mode and kicked his ass. But it wasn't just me that was looking and I think the dad finally noticed that he was about to get sacked like Tom Brady in the Superbowl.
I finished my shopping and went to the checkstand only to be followed by bloody murder himself and the parents from hell. I turned around to give the kid a comforting smile when I saw the 3 cases of Milwaukee's Best sitting in the cart. And a frozen pizza. I almost kidnapped the child right then and there. Especially when I started smelling the alcohol pour from their unbathed bodies. Even the lady at the check stand gave me the look like, "do I have to sell this to them?" When I left, the disgustingtons were in search of bloody murder who had, apparently, decided that enough was enough and ran away, leaving only his jacket behind.
All I could think was, "Run, Forrest, Run..."
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