Last night, I realized that I'm an adult.
Life is hard. It takes work to keep people happy and even more work to keep yourself happy. My whole life, I've had a ridiculously hard time at putting my happiness first. I want everyone to like me, who doesn't? But after trying that for so long, I realized that as long as I have a few people who love me and some others who like me a lot, I will be just fine. I realized that I need to fix the things that are keeping me from being happy.
After being a stressed out bundle of nerves for the past week or so, I sat myself down, closed my eyes and decided to do the mature thing and talk it out. Too many times have I let little things wear me down and not said a word. Last night, I decided that I couldn't let my lack of communication drag down one more relationship...especially one that I fully intend on keeping for a long, long time. So, I took a deep breath, became an adult and started the conversation.
"Things need to change."
"Okay, how can we do that?"
Perfect answer. I love you.
Right then and there, I knew that the twenty-something college girl was waving goodbye as my older, more mature self introduced herself into the world. She is very excited to be here.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
R.I.P. Raffie
My cat, Raffie, died over the weekend. She was about 20 years old, so she lived a great life and stayed with us even though she despised every other animal we've ever owned. She had three favorite spots at my parent's house...one in the garage next to the door so she could greet everyone when they came in or out, another in the window above my mom's flower garden, and another under the back deck in the shade. When no one had seen her for a few days, my mom went searching and found her peacefully curled up under the deck. It seems as though she picked her spot, took a nap and never woke up. If I had to choose any way for her to go, that would surely be it.
So my dad buried her next to Macie, our dog that died in May last year. They have a nice little spot by the pond, in the shade, where we can easily visit. I just hope they can get along next to each other...luckily, I think Macie was Raffie's favorite of all the pets we've had.
R.I.P. Raffie, you will be missed.
So my dad buried her next to Macie, our dog that died in May last year. They have a nice little spot by the pond, in the shade, where we can easily visit. I just hope they can get along next to each other...luckily, I think Macie was Raffie's favorite of all the pets we've had.
R.I.P. Raffie, you will be missed.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
In a funk...
This has been a rough week for me. Nothing spectacularly awful, but my mood has been down a bit. I realized that 24 is just around the corner for me and I am (eeeek!) nearing my mid-twenties. And while the rest of the world views this as "you're still so young!", I am wondering if I really am where I should be. 5 years ago, I would have seen myself in a much different place than I am right now. Don't get me wrong, there are many things that I am happy about, but I'm trying to figure out how to change the things that I'm not thrilled with. Not so easy when you can't exactly identify what those things are. But hey, I made one heck of an ice cream cake last night and am fully prepared to devour it this fine evening. That should give me a boost.
The running has been very nice, since that is a very good way for me to stop my mind from racing around all these quandaries about life. Grant and I are waking up early and running around our neighborhood for 20-30 minutes before work. Our goal was 3 days a week and I've already done 4 this week, so I'm feeling pretty good about it. About three weeks into this venture and I can already feel a difference.
Also, I get to spend the day at Silverwood tomorrow for free, which is pretty dang sweet. Maybe my mood will change after being thrown upside-down and all around.
The running has been very nice, since that is a very good way for me to stop my mind from racing around all these quandaries about life. Grant and I are waking up early and running around our neighborhood for 20-30 minutes before work. Our goal was 3 days a week and I've already done 4 this week, so I'm feeling pretty good about it. About three weeks into this venture and I can already feel a difference.
Also, I get to spend the day at Silverwood tomorrow for free, which is pretty dang sweet. Maybe my mood will change after being thrown upside-down and all around.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Doesn't Get Much Better...
Weekends are usually a great time. Any day that I don't have to work is a good one. This weekend, however, was tremendous. Nothing hugely spectacular that made it better, just an all around, great relaxing time. Starting Friday...
We took a short trip to Fred Meyer where I bought new flowers to replace the ones that I murdered in early Spring when I prematurely planted them in late May, not realizing that Mother Nature still had some snow built up from winter that she needed to get rid of. Oh, that and apparently you have to water them on a semi-regular basis, or so Grant says. I suppose I can try that method with these ones, although I have a habit of not remembering to do little things like that. It's a wonder I remember to feed my dog, although I have to admit that she has gotten good at making sure I know when she is famished. Back to the weekend recap...after some amazing shishkabobs from the grill, we took Jersey to our little spot on the lake for some much needed energy release. And that she did - she swam her little heart out and really didn't want to stop except that the sun went down and she couldn't see the ball in the water anymore so she just started swimming in circles. She didn't show an ounce of exhaustion until we got back to the car and instead of hanging her head out the window, she just collapsed on her towel and fell fast asleep. Grant entertained himself by building his "path to hope", which is a path about 3 feet long that extends into the water so people can walk on water...or whatever.
On Saturday, I had to check people in to the Osprey Cruise that I had organized for work. I was supposed to be there at 8am, so you can imagine the panic attack that I had when I woke up at 7:35am, realizing my alarm had not gone off. After the world's quickest makeover, I managed to make it down to the docks by 8:06am not looking too shabby considering the circumstances. The cruise was nice - beautiful weather - and I got 4 hours of comp time at work for checking people in and enjoying a nice cruise on the lake for a couple hours on a Saturday. Grant met me afterwards at Michael D's, where we enjoyed probably the best breakfast you can get in Coeur d'Alene. The rest of the day was spent enjoying the sunshine at the beach, which really puts me in a good mood no matter what. We took Jersey back to the lake that night for more swimming and we were surprised to see that the "Path to Hope" had been added to! While it wasn't exactly the same design that Grant started, at least someone else saw his vision and contributed. By the end of the night, his path was near complete and when we stood back to examine the masterpiece, we noticed it had an eerie resemblance to a body part that he swears was not intended. I just nodded my head and said, "okay, dear."
Since we didn't really have a Spring this year, our cleaning fever hit us Sunday morning. We got up and did all sorts of gross cleaning tasks that rarely get thought about, including dusting the blinds, picking up pine needles and spraying the pollen off of everything outside. To reward ourselves, we decided to spend the afternoon back in the sun and fell asleep with our feet in the water. After dinner, we went and saw Wall-E, which is the best Disney film I have seen since Finding Nemo. Definitely a must-see in the theaters for kids and adults...I actually think adults might enjoy it more based on it's plot and adult-sized humor. Topped the evening off with "The Next Food Network Star" and off to bed after a full, fun weekend.
This morning started Grant's and my quest to become more active and get into better shape. We got up at 5:45am and ran, which I have to say was a very different way to wake up than normal. It felt amazing and I really enjoyed getting up early, having time to make some coffee and take my time getting ready for work. And hey, I was even a couple minutes early to work, which rarely happens on a Monday (or ever). We hope to continue this at least 3 times a week, considering that most weeks I have to be somewhere for work at 7am twice a week. Hopefully our run sessions will go longer as we keep going, but I'm proud of us for attempting to get our butts into better shape. I do have to say that, compared to 2 years ago, my bathing suit fits about a million times better and I've worked incredibly hard to get it that way. I fully intend on trying to keep it fitting so well. It would be much easier if I didn't love and crave every junk food known to man, but I guess that's just who I am and I'll have to work twice as hard to look decent in a bathing suit. It's totally worth it, I hope.
We took a short trip to Fred Meyer where I bought new flowers to replace the ones that I murdered in early Spring when I prematurely planted them in late May, not realizing that Mother Nature still had some snow built up from winter that she needed to get rid of. Oh, that and apparently you have to water them on a semi-regular basis, or so Grant says. I suppose I can try that method with these ones, although I have a habit of not remembering to do little things like that. It's a wonder I remember to feed my dog, although I have to admit that she has gotten good at making sure I know when she is famished. Back to the weekend recap...after some amazing shishkabobs from the grill, we took Jersey to our little spot on the lake for some much needed energy release. And that she did - she swam her little heart out and really didn't want to stop except that the sun went down and she couldn't see the ball in the water anymore so she just started swimming in circles. She didn't show an ounce of exhaustion until we got back to the car and instead of hanging her head out the window, she just collapsed on her towel and fell fast asleep. Grant entertained himself by building his "path to hope", which is a path about 3 feet long that extends into the water so people can walk on water...or whatever. 
On Saturday, I had to check people in to the Osprey Cruise that I had organized for work. I was supposed to be there at 8am, so you can imagine the panic attack that I had when I woke up at 7:35am, realizing my alarm had not gone off. After the world's quickest makeover, I managed to make it down to the docks by 8:06am not looking too shabby considering the circumstances. The cruise was nice - beautiful weather - and I got 4 hours of comp time at work for checking people in and enjoying a nice cruise on the lake for a couple hours on a Saturday. Grant met me afterwards at Michael D's, where we enjoyed probably the best breakfast you can get in Coeur d'Alene. The rest of the day was spent enjoying the sunshine at the beach, which really puts me in a good mood no matter what. We took Jersey back to the lake that night for more swimming and we were surprised to see that the "Path to Hope" had been added to! While it wasn't exactly the same design that Grant started, at least someone else saw his vision and contributed. By the end of the night, his path was near complete and when we stood back to examine the masterpiece, we noticed it had an eerie resemblance to a body part that he swears was not intended. I just nodded my head and said, "okay, dear."
Since we didn't really have a Spring this year, our cleaning fever hit us Sunday morning. We got up and did all sorts of gross cleaning tasks that rarely get thought about, including dusting the blinds, picking up pine needles and spraying the pollen off of everything outside. To reward ourselves, we decided to spend the afternoon back in the sun and fell asleep with our feet in the water. After dinner, we went and saw Wall-E, which is the best Disney film I have seen since Finding Nemo. Definitely a must-see in the theaters for kids and adults...I actually think adults might enjoy it more based on it's plot and adult-sized humor. Topped the evening off with "The Next Food Network Star" and off to bed after a full, fun weekend.
This morning started Grant's and my quest to become more active and get into better shape. We got up at 5:45am and ran, which I have to say was a very different way to wake up than normal. It felt amazing and I really enjoyed getting up early, having time to make some coffee and take my time getting ready for work. And hey, I was even a couple minutes early to work, which rarely happens on a Monday (or ever). We hope to continue this at least 3 times a week, considering that most weeks I have to be somewhere for work at 7am twice a week. Hopefully our run sessions will go longer as we keep going, but I'm proud of us for attempting to get our butts into better shape. I do have to say that, compared to 2 years ago, my bathing suit fits about a million times better and I've worked incredibly hard to get it that way. I fully intend on trying to keep it fitting so well. It would be much easier if I didn't love and crave every junk food known to man, but I guess that's just who I am and I'll have to work twice as hard to look decent in a bathing suit. It's totally worth it, I hope.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
